The Hollow

Just an old man and his thoughts/feelings about having survived child abuse. I'm just one voice of many who are survivors.

Name:
Location: Owensboro, Kentucky, United States

I tend to be reclusive, hate crowds, can't stand loud noise, and talk too much once I know and trust you. I have a 'New Yorker' attitude and accent. Love Jewish and Italian food. I'm Hebrew when convenient and Buddhist when serious. I am INTP. See http://www.personalitypage.com/INTP.html

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Before Dawn

The night has always been my friend. Not the night so much, but the early morning; between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m. when the world outside of my room is silent.

When everyone else in that external world is at rest. When they are no longer active. When I know they will not interrupt my time being alone. When the only thing that breaks the quiet is the occasional ascending wail of an emergency vehicle.

In years past, before the PC, I would sit at the kitchen table, sip black coffee, smoke cigarettes, and write. I no longer smoke, but still sit at the kitchen table and write. Later, once the external world is no longer at rest, I enter whatever I wrote, longhand, into my PC.

I enjoy the time alone. Not that I am quiet. I always read what I write out loud. I taste each sentence as one would taste the contents of a pot on the stove by taking a small sample on a spoon. The sentence is the smallest thought you can express. Each sentence must “taste” good to me. If not, I line it out. Sometimes, I line out the entire sheet.

Some people who have similar pasts turn to art. Me, I write. And being alone in the early morning hours is something I have come to love.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Wilma said...

Consider yourself lucky. For me, it's getting harder and harder to find any quiet time at all.

The kids are up early and if I get up earlier to beat them, they match me. Once they're up, it's all tv and talking. Sometimes I can't even focus on what their saying because almost all of it is nonsense. My husband hardly helps. He is too busy reading the paper or typing like mad online while I serve breakfast and field their endless questions. Me, I have to make breakfast and get thehousehold moving. Oh well. Nice blog by the way.

9:10 AM  

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